i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
