You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
