just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
