I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i will never coherently bang her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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