He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
