All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
