So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
