Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
