tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
