with your own penis?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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