You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You took a bar mat shot.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Two words: nipple clamps
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