somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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