Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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