Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
