That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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