I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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