Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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