so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
