nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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