nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
