Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
