Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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