You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
