oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
