my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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