i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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