where am i from again
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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