? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
