Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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