She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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