Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my being single is dangerous.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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