i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
