She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You pole danced in your parka.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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