Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
