You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
