Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
