i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
