you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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