wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
