Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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