she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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