are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
