we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
