my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
