I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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