If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
