Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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