is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
