Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
