Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
