She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
